Thursday, 17 January 2008

Some sad news

I'm not long back from the vets. It breaks my heart to say that I had my dear little Diddy Boy put to sleep a while ago. I am falling apart as you will probably realise. I've not had to make that decision with a pet that I treasured or have had for so many years before, dogs included, they have died of natural causes, so it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. He would have been 10 years old on the 11th April, and some of you may know that I had his mum and dad, and that I saw his very first moments in this life as he emerged from his egg under my broody hen.

He was living on borrowed time. I've not blogged about it before because I felt it may be a bad omen, but I've brought him back from the verge of death twice in the last month or so now. Both times, he had collapsed and was unable to get himself up again and was just lying on his side, frozen and lifeless. Both times I've warmed him, cuddled him, propped him up on the radiator and he has come round and perked up. This last few days though, it's been a struggle. The last month he has been a shadow of his former self, his comb and wattles have gone from a nice red to really pale pink. He hasn't wanted to eat anything all day, and even going outside in the garden for ten minutes to get some worms with him hasn't really excited him like it was. For the past two nights, he hadn't hardly bothered to scrounge from me whilst I was eating my tea, which really was about the only time he would eat anything substantial, mainly tinned sweetcorn. Last night, he ate about 4 pieces and then went to bed in his box.

Today, he didn't even want to come out, finally appeared about 11.45 am, had a drink, but I couldn't tempt him to eat anything at all. He just stood with his head hanging, eyes shut, and was only able to keep upright by using his wings.

In one last attempt to talk myself out of what I thought was best, I took him outside in the sunshine, and he just stood, closed his eyes, and a small gust of wind blew him over onto his side. I knew that was it.

The guy at the vets was brilliant, he said it was for the best, which I knew in my heart it was. Doesn't make it any easier though. He is one of the best pets I've ever had the pleasure of owning and I shall miss him so much. The only thing I can say is if I were in the condition he was in, slowly dying, with no quality of life, then I would want someone to do the same for me. I just wish I didn't feel so guilty about it, like a murderer.

I shall bury him tomorrow, up with his girls, I have the five graves marked with nice plants, two have lilac bushes, one has bamboo, one the budlea bush and one dwarf rhododendron. I can't face doing it now. I'll buy a nice shrub for him.

RIP little man.


shirl said...

Hi again, Jan :-)

Just catching up on blogs to find this sad post. So sorry to read your news. Perhaps you could pick a plant that is in flower at the moment - maybe a witchhazel?

Pete said...

aw Jan

so sorry.

no point feeling guilty. at the end of the day he had a good happy life. that's all you can do.

it would have been worse to let him suffer

oldcrow61 said...

Aw Jan, I'm so very sorry. I'm finding it difficult to write as I'm holding back tears. I know what you're going through but you did the best thing for him. My dear, my heart is with you. Hugs.

Anonymous said...

So very sorry to read about your poor Diddy boy Jan, he was a very lucky bird to have such a caring person to look after him in his long life, you were there for him when he came into the world, and you were there for him when he left.
Hope you feel better soon. Pauline.

Janine said...

Sorry to hear this Jan but it was the best thing to do for him. He had a long and happy life with you and was probably the most spoilt little cockerel in the world!
Hugs, J.

Jan said...

Thanks everyone.

Mary said...

So sorry Jan, its always hard to say goodbye, but you did the best thing for him, much better that he went this way rather than suffered Hugs

Karen said...

I'm so sorry Jan to read this,I know how hard it is to say goodbye to a dearly loved pet. As the others have said, take comfort in knowing that you did not let him suffer and were with him as he slipped peacefully away.Big hugs.

nicola said...

Jan just read your news am so sorry to hear about this, really am, you did the best thing though, thinking of you