Tuesday, 19 June 2007

Well, it finally happened

Irene has gone. I've rarely felt so down in the dumps as I do right now. Probably shouldn't be doing this blog but still. When you've spent some time virtually every day for the past 3 months with someone, when you've got lots in common, when you've gone to places you'd never have gone on your own, or will be likely to go to again, when you've known someone for over 13 years and been to their home as many times as I have, when you love their dogs to bits, and the time finally came to say goodbye, it was bloody awful. I cried all the way home, I shouldn't have been driving really. And I've tried to busy myself since I got home just after three, but still cried every time I think about it, and am crying now. I've known this moment would be coming for over a year, but it doesn't make it any easier. What also makes it worse is worrying about her, she hasn't eaten or slept properly for days, and it's not like it's all over now. She has gone off because she can't mess about any longer, she had to book the lorries and stable for her horse to be moved else she may have lost the livery place she had reserved, and her son and his mate had to book the lorry to fetch all her furniture. Now she's gone and no phone calls from Solicitors or anything, she doesn't even know if the sale will go through or when, or her purchase. What a nightmare. We were very lucky with the weather for loading up the lorry, it was gorgeous, but now we are having the most horrendous thunder storm here with rain coming down in stair rods, bouncing up feet high in the air. I wonder how far she has got on her journey and weather she has got this to contend with. She had to leave a fair bit of stuff behind in the way of furniture, it wouldn't all go in the lorry, which was awful, and she's never travelled with all three dogs in the car either, a 5 or 6 hour journey depending on the traffic. I shall be going over every day until further notice to feed the two cats she's left behind. The couple who are moving in are going to look after them for her, but they already have cats and dogs, so I wonder what will become of them. They are outdoor cats and there's loads of barns and places for them to go, but I still feel everso sorry for them, but Irene couldn't take them to where she was going, they would have got runover, they are used to being on a farm and out in the fields, not a town with main roads.

Of course we have promised to keep in touch, and visit etc. but I know from previous experience this lasts for a few months normally, and then it gets less and less til one day it's only a card at Christmas.....

Oh well, I guess it's back to my normal boring mundane life from now on, trying to find things to do and places to go with Emma other than round the bloody park, as it's about the only place that is not too remote to be on my own.

Sorry about this today, but I just needed to say it. :(

7 comments:

oldcrow61 said...

My dear Jan, how awful a day for you both. I'm choking up with tears here, I really don't know what to say. Lots of hugs.

Jan said...

Thanks, that means a lot to me.

I'll be okay, I'm a survivor, it's happened to me before, and will probably happen again for one reason or another. But given the chance of somewhere as nice to live as I do at present, but 200 miles further east, I would go tomorrow, then I'd be within driving distance of my mum and her for daily visits.

Anna said...

Poor Jan, must be awful!

Come move near me, it's nice round here!

Mary said...

I'm sorry your friend has moved away. but the optimist in me says as one door shuts another may be opening. keep smiling.

Karen said...

It's hard to have a friend leave but if you are true friends you WILL stay in touch and even if you can meet only rarely, those times will be special and like you saw each other just yesterday. As Mary says, another door may be opening for you right now just as it did for me after my dear friend died from cancer 18 months ago. I miss her dreadfully still but have found a good friend in Mary and we have lots in common besides the dogs. Keep blogging, you have some friends online too that care and will give you moral support and a listening ear when you are down.

nicola said...

sorry to hear she has gone jan, I know how much she meant to you.....come move here!

Anonymous said...

What an upsetting time for both of you Jan, I m sure she will miss her old home and you, once she is settled in, she will soon be back for holidays, take care. Pauline.