Oh woe is me.

As you might have gathered from my last blog, I'm not in the best of moods again at the moment. I wouldn't say I was badly depressed, but maybe slightly. I am currently experiencing all kinds of things, both mentally and physically, and can't quite put my finger on the problem. I think I am still a bit rundown after the chicken pox, I dunno. I have had a slight headache now for four days, which doesn't help. Plus my back is breaking, having to take pain killers, which is something I rarely resort to because of the side effects. I wake up in the morning, and if it weren't for the birds outside with no food, I swear I could just stay in bed and sleep all day. I can't be bothered to do anything, go anywhere, no motivation or enthusiasm for anything. Am really having to force myself to take Emma out. Thank god I have her, else I wouldn't have a life at all. Just food shopping, the highlight of my sad little life. I guess I feel bloody lonely, but on the other hand, I don't want commitment, and the problems and hassles it brings. But I get pissed off everywhere I go, even walking Emma, and everyone else is in couples, even two women, at least they have some company. It's always just me on my own nowadays, and in the future, unless I do something about it, it will always be me on my own. I just keep thinking of all the things in life that I would like to do, and instead am stuck here in this bloody great rut and no way out of it unless I win the lottery. How pathetic is that? I want to travel, to see the world, to do stuff before I am too old and too bloody crippled to do anything. I'm already living the life of an OAP, and am bored bored bored. I know most people aren't living the life of riley, but I should be able to enjoy myself now and again, surely that's not too much to ask is it? Otherwise, what's the point of it all?

The only time I feel happy lately is when I am eating something yummy and then I feel pissed off because I have put on weight. It's still creeping on, so I can't eat anything other than the pure boring basics otherwise I put on about a pound a week. Nearly two stone now has gone on since this time last year. I keep getting the shakes too which is slightly worrying, trembling, hard to explain, but if I eat something sweet, it makes me feel better instantly. Points to diabetes I think, but the tests always say borderline. Or maybe my thyroid, but that's recently been checked, something not right. Maybe my brain.

Oh well enough already. I took Emma round the castle at Newcastle Emlyn, haven't been there for a while, no sign of the Canada Geese today, but there were some interesting ducks on the far bank, but without my glasses couldn't really make out exactly what they were, but I think it was a Muscovy drake and his two ladies, never seen them there before, wonder if they have escaped from somewhere, not normally seen on the side of a raging river are they?

time for a moan.....

In our village newsletter that we get every two months, there was a mention last time about the police being informed and taking action against "local youths riding their bikes on the wrong side of the road" Obviously hasn't done much good. As I came back from the shops there were 5 of the little turds coming straight at me. So I called their bluff. They were expecting me to stop till they turned off to the right, as there was a car coming the other way. Well I didn't. Three of them did the turn, the last two nearly crapped themselves because I drove straight at them, and in fact turned my wheel in towards them. One nearly hit his leg on the bridge. Wish he had and done a head first over the side into the mud. Little bastards think they can do what they like. Oh and the other night someone let off a horrendous firework at 11.40 pm, it echoed round the valley, made 6 of the loudest bangs I've ever heard from a firework. People threw their windows open here to see what the hell had happened, it sounded like it was right outside my house. It was in the street behind. My poor budgie fell off his perch, and when I checked on Diddy, he'd come off his too in his little cupboard. I'd like to stick a firework right up their backsides, evil little scrotes.

Sheeps!

The sheep in the field alongside of my garden have had their little lambies. Well some of them have anyway. There were 12 ewes in the field, have only seen 6 of them with the little ones so far, others maybe over the far side out of sight, or maybe the farmer is keeping them in the barn until they have them. One mummy has a little black one, awww. So cute. Shame how they will end up in someones fridge in 6 months time though isn't it? I should live in a town really, then I wouldn't see it and have to think about what happens to all the cute little lambs, calves, chicks that I see.....

Went to Tesco, took Emma round the reservoirs, hurray it hasn't rained since first thing, and the sun came out for a while. Trouble is, no pleasing me, as soon as the sky clears the temperature drops about 10 degrees and it's bloody freezing! No, it's not been too bad today, although quite a strong cold north westerly.

What a boring week

Well I've not bothered to blog this week, because I haven't done anything in the least bit interesting to me, let alone anyone else. The weather has been crap, rain, rain and more rain. I've been to my friend Irene's for lunch one day, she came here on another, and yesterday we went food shopping. That's about it. Taken Emma out only to the park today because whoopee, it actually stopped raining for about an hour. Everywhere is a horrible squelchy mess. I've got sick birds everywhere, the hen siskin I posted about on the bird forum was just the tip of the ice berg. Two more female chaffinches have snuffed it today, found one dead on the grass, and the other I picked up alive, and she died in my hands within a few minutes. There's a male too, nearly managed to catch him, but he had enough strength to fly into the tree, so I gave up, else I would have ended up on my arse in the sludge. The collared dove was here late too, so he's survived another day. Really pissed off about it.

Only good news for the week is that I got delivery of my new (well 2nd hand) D-Link wireless router/modem, which was easy peasy to set up thanks to the bloke I bought it off, who left explicit instructions for me. And I now have no problem with my broadband being disconnected at all. And I can use my new phone again that was cutting off my connection about every 30 minutes. It must have some kind of pulse in it that the other router didn't like. So thats a great relief, and I have now applied for the free upgrade to MaxDSL, up to 8MB, that's going ahead this week, so I am expecting some hassle as it can cause slow speeds and disconnects for up to 10 days till it settles down. We shall see.

I was good today and made myself clean my aviary out, how I hate that job, well not the job, but the pain it causes. At least I did something useful.

Nice day out

I received a text from Christine on Friday night (my ex's partner) Trouble is, because I had left my phone in the bedroom on charge, I didn't see it till nearly midnight when I went to bed. It was asking if I wanted to meet up with them on Sunday at the carboot sale. I thought I'd better not ring back then, a bit late! So Saturday morning, I rang their home, no answer. So then I rang her mobile, voice mail. Then I noticed that the number I'd got the text from was a different one to the number I had stored so rang that. Voice mail. I repeated the above exercise at teatime with the same result all round, then finally got her later in the evening. Turns out they had already gone away in the camper, and depending on where they were, the mobiles weren't receiving signals. Anyhow, got there in the end, and met up with them this morning at 10 oclock. Had an hour or so round the carboot, walked the dogs round the Showground field, then we went onto Ferryside for lunch (yep, fish and chips) walked the dogs on the beach (well it's estuary), had lots of cups of coffee, laughs and a good old chinwag, and I finally got home about 4oclock.

It was nice to do something for a change on a Sunday. The weather was great this morning, clouded up a bit this afternoon, but still very pleasant for February. The worst bit about spending time with them, as I've said before, is the ciggies, but there is no way on earth I would ever say, because they would never ask me again I know, so I just have to grin and bear it (well cough more like, one time I really couldn't stop, it's being in the confined space in their camper, I'm okay outside) I had to stick all my clothes in the wash and have a shower when I came back, but it's a small price to pay for a nice day and some good company.

Christine gave me a lovely spray of 6 red roses when I left too, which was a nice surprise, first time I've been given flowers in a few years!

Emma now shattered, being awake for so long, not so much the walks as they were short in comparison to what she normally gets.

Spring came back again today

It's been beautiful today. Got stuck in to doing some tidying up in the garden. Firstly I had to repair the fence between my garden and that of the now vacant bungalow on the other side of the road. Now that all the trees have been cut down, I could get round there to do it properly, it was always a bodge up (like most of my handy work) and I had to build some kind of extension barricade too because if someone moves in there with a dog, it could now come straight into my garden. I also had to get about 12 feet of rusty, rotting wire netting out of the honeysuckle and brambles, because the guys who cut down the trees left it be, I couldn't expect them to do that. It took me ages, and I ripped my hands to bits, got thorns in both my thumbs and poured with blood. Gloves? Who me? No way, gloves are for wimps. And for people that have nice hands. I also pruned down another lilac bush near the kitchen window, as that blocks a lot of light and sun when it's covered in leaves. Even today though, it was boiling in my kitchen. I mean, February, it felt more like May, fantastic.

I took Diddy Boy out with me this morning, and he was quite happy to stay out in the sunshine all day. As I was out there most of the time anyway, he was following me around a bit, but then I came in for a bite to eat, and he stayed and perched up on the old guinea pig run, preening himself. I had to actually go and carry him in at 4.30 as the sun was going down behind the hill and started to get chilly, he had a nice day out there anyway. No sign of the cat that tried to kill him for over two months now, so I guess it's ended up under a car as predicted. Sad really, not the cat's fault, but a relief to me just the same. Saves a lot of complications and worries for sure.

Bashing in fence posts and sawing and carrying has taken its toll today though, my back is agony and I had a soak in the bath this afternoon, to try and ease it a bit, Can't say that it's worked too well though. Think I will have to resort to some pain killers shortly.

Only a shortish road walk with Emma today to pick up my car from service (about half a mile but mostly up a very steep hill, puff pant. )

Got so much to do here, I get so fed up at times, because when it's nice I just want to go out for the day somewhere, not stick around here grafting. Stuff needs doing indoors too, cleaning, decorating. Just can't summon the energy or enthusiasm though. Oh well, another day tomorrow I suppose.

Still about the weather..

This morning, the weather was beautiful, like last Saturday again, but with snow on the ground! I decided to make my once a year attack on the corregated plastic sheeting on my aviary roof. I normally leave this till there is snow on it, because as it is swept off, it takes a lot of the green stuff off with it. Lots of dead leaves too. Hopefully, it will be the last time I have to do it now that the trees are gone and it should get sun on it now, and not go green. It makes it so much lighter for the birds. I suppose it will now be too hot for them in the summer, and I will be having to put something over it to shade it! How crazy is this weather though, sweeping and shovelling snow in a t-shirt! It was boiling with the sun on my back, and sweat was running down my face and stinging my eyes!

As soon as I'd finished that, I thought I'd take Emma to the park for a huff round, and I needed to pick up my sack of sunflower hearts that I'd ordered. I was starting to panic as I only had a handful left, if the snow had stuck around on the roads, I would have run out. I managed to get out of my bit of road although it was still covered in snow (as was the car) and then all the other roads were clear. I couldn't believe it though, I got to Llandysul, and there was no snow! None on the pavements, none at the park, so Emma didn't get a huff round on the snow, just the grass as normal. Oh, and typical of my luck - it clouded up and started to rain! After all that beautiful weather, it waited for me to start walking. Saw lots of Long Tailed tits again, they like the park. Good job, because I doubt I shall ever see them in my garden again now the trees are gone. Oh and as I pulled away from the car park, I was witness to three buzzards having an airborne bundle right next to me! Absolutely amazing. Literally 10 feet away to my right and about 8 feet off the river! Guess they were fighting over a female!

I took the photos below on my way back - see, we still had plenty of snow, hard to believe that 4 miles away there was virtually none. How weird. You can just see our village nestling in between the dip in the valley. As I took these, there was a Red Kite circling overhead, so been a nice day for birds. Apart from Nobby Nuthatch. No sign of him at all. Sadly have to draw the conclusion that he didn't make it. I'm sure he would have been here if he was okay. Such a shame, but I guess even if I'd caught him yesterday, he would still have died. The trouble with birds is by the time you see they are ill, it's normally too late to help them anyway. There's a sick male chaffinch hanging around the bird table today now. It's ripping through that flock, that will make around 5 or 6 in the last couple of weeks. :(

More snow - and complete chaos in the village!

Well it snowed heavily for 4 hours, we had as much snow in that time as I have ever seen here in the 13 years I've lived in Wales. I thought it was about 6 inches, but went and measured and it was actually 5 inches, so I didn't want to lie about it, that's something that men normally do I think....

It finally stopped about 2.00 pm and I went out and began clearing the bird feeding area. I'd been keeping them topped up in the pot on the window sill, and I had put two ground feeders stacked with seeds under the hollybush up the top and the other one round by my back garden, so they didn't starve, plus plenty of hanging feeders. A little female siskin turned up in the lilac bush too. I came within two inches of being able to capture Nobby the Nuthatch. I got the net out, and swiped at him but he just managed to get away, and now of course, he is wary of me. I don't think he's going to last long, because a hawk has been here by the looks of it. There were grey feathers all along the edge by the window sill. There are several sick chaffinches around, I guess that was one of them.

Well anyway, after that I decided to take Emma out for some fun round the back fields, and took lots of photos. The main road was at a standstill, and there were two abandoned vehicles in my road where they couldn't get up the hill. The snow has caught everyone out because they didn't forecast it today, yesterday yes, but most of it had melted and we were supposed to have rain today. So everyone has gone off to work and school as normal, and then got stuck. There was a snow plough coming down as I went out with Emma, which frightened her half to death. Lorries and cars were just about managing to crawl along. There was a camera crew filming on the corner of the road, damn, I just missed out. Me and Emma may have got our faces on SC4 if I'd been a couple of minutes earlier, cos they were just packing up. :(

I stopped in the Spar shop on the way back and a bloke had taken two and a half hours to get here from Carmarthen (15 minute journey normally) and three and a half hours to get from Cross Hands to Carmarthen (normally about 15 minutes too) What a nightmare!

Well the sun has now come out and we are surrounded by blue skies, so that means it will all freeze tonight and cause even more chaos! Glad I haven't got to go anywhere.

Here come the photos then. (There will be more on Emma's blog, trying to keep the ones with her in separate)

Should have kept my trap shut...

Thank god I went to Tesco yesterday, because I certainly wouldn't be going today. It's been snowing heavily for the past hour now, already had a couple of inches I think, and the sky is full of it, not a blizzard because there is little wind, but I won't be going far today I fear. We also just had a power cut, so I quickly plugged in my ADSL usb modem so I can still surf! I knew it would come to good use, I had go back to dial-up before when we lose our electric, that's a great disadvantage of having a wireless router, no electric, no broadband.... oh and of course having a laptop with a fully charged battery helps a little too! It's back on now, only off for about 10 minutes thankfully. I think some poor souls elsewhere lose theirs for hours or days at a time in bad weather. Perhaps we aren't so primitive here after all. :)

Well, little Nobby Nuthatch (I've always called him that) has survived the night, much to my surprise. He didn't look so puffed up earlier either, but he did just now. He was sitting on the far end of the windowsill, where he was when I took the photo yesterday. The seed pot was empty, and I opened the window to put some pellets in it for him, and he flew down and sat on the pot and waited. How cute is that, but sad too, it only happens when wild birds are sick. Anyhow, he took a berry pellet, and took it along to wedge it like they do, and managed to eat it all. I am hoping he will make it, I am going to put some water out on the table near the windowsill for him, as he seems to be sticking around this bit.

I just had great excitement, have posted on BBF, but last night I saw what I thought was the song thrush perched on the newly acquired tree stump up by the bird table. I was pleased enough about that because I don't see it around very often, but I picked the binoculars up off the kitchen windowsill, and looked and it's a Redwing! A garden first for me. Really excited about that, I wonder where the rest are though, they are normally in large flocks I think.

Anyway, enough for now, I'd best get my arctic wear on and get out and do the birds feed, there are lots of hungry looking jackdaws sitting up on the wire waiting.

More snow pictures later I think....

Well that didn't last long!

By 11 o'clock, it was raining, very steady, not heavy, but enough to make a good start on melting the snow. So after pottering for a while and having my lunch, I decided to head to Tesco after all, because they forecast freezing fog tomorrow, and I don't fancy driving in that at all. So I got about halfway to town and there was sleet coming down, and I thought, oh no if it gets worse, I'll turn back. Anyway it stopped, and I got to Carmarthen, and found that they hadn't had any snow! Well if they had it had melted a lot quicker than ours. The sun came out, and I felt very guilty because I didn't bring Emma. She could have had her walk round the reservoirs after all.

The worse bit about today is my sick nuthatch. I only have two nuthatches, and I doubt this one is going to make it now. I hope to god it hasn't caught the trichomonias. It doesn't look like it, he's eating okay, but certainly is a very sick bird. Makes me want to cry when you can't help them. I just wish I could bring it in the warm and give it some medication and a bit of TLC. Poor little bugger. It was on the window sill late when I went to shut my birds in, but he flew off when I got within a few feet again. Doubt it will survive the night, it's about minus 6 out there I think. I managed to get a fair shot of my cheeky robin today too, although they aren't brilliant through the window glass. I got one of the nuthatch with the window open, shows how sick he is, he just looks at me. :(

Snow

Taken between 7am and 8am. Not great because of the light, still quite dark now, but thought I'd best do them now because it appeared to be turning to rain, and there won't be any left! I'll do some more from outside later across the fields and hills when I'm dressed. :)

Birds are in a feeding frenzy. I've already filled the pot on the windowsill three times with the suet pellets, peanuts and raisins. They are queueing up for it, two pairs of blackbirds, chaffinches, blue tits, robins..

Oh well, the Spar Shop it is then...

6am, Emma woke me getting off the bed. So I had to get up for a wee. So then she wanted to go out. We've had at least three inches of snow, and it's still coming down fast and furiously. I have an old table outside my kitchen window, and with the light on, I can see that the snow has settled on that level, so it's not a drift, and it is at least three inches. The front garden is covered. Well I don't suppose we shall starve, and it's only due to last a day I think, but there is no way I can get my car out of this road when there's snow on the ground, it's on a hill with a right angle turn, and the snow plough/grit lorries don't come down here.

Photos later, when it's light......

....and then there were none (well almost)

For the past three days, two guys have been here felling the trees along the boundary between our houses and the farm field. They have been doing my bit for two of those. They couldn't have picked better weather, although it's been bloody freezing, the sun has shone constantly, and not a breath of wind. Well, I've been busy keeping them supplied with tea, and you couldn't wish to meet two more pleasant, intelligent and helpful blokes. What a refreshing change. It's a bit of a shock to the system now, I feel very exposed. Thank god the farmer did proper fencing along the field last year, else anything could get in the garden. It will be nice to have some sunshine all the year round anyway, and perhaps my garden won't be resembling a swamp for much of the year from now on, and maybe the side of my bungalow won't be damp either. (Well assuming we get sunshine of course) I just hope my aviary won't take too much of a battering when we get the strong southerlies, but actually, there isn't much difference to that bit of bank, it was pretty low anyway, and the two nice men have left my holly for me for the birdies to hide in, and also all my honeysuckle behind the aviary for the bees. They've lopped loads off the oak tree, as they are not allowed to actually fell this, it's protected apparently, but it won't be as bad, the sun only goes behind that quite late in the afternoon anyway. At least there won't be so many dead leaves to clear up from now on either. I have some sorting to do though, because the fence between me and my neighbour across the road is now futile, it was only the bushes holding it up really! My neighbour is moving out too, so not knowing who will be moving in, if they have a dog for instance, it would be able to come straight in to mine.

Well, haven't done much else this week (except be a tea-lady) but it did pay off, one of the guys climbed the tree and nearly killed himself to fix my nest box up for me when he saw me struggling with a ladder. It was already in one of the trees they chopped down, and when I looked in, there's a fresh little nest all done, awww, so I wanted to get it back up tonight incase they were using it for roosting. It's in the oak tree now instead of the one that was next to it. Oh, and he pruned my lilac bushes and budlea for me, which wasn't part of their contract. ;)

Well I hope we don't get the snow that's forecast for tonight, as I am needing to go shopping to Tesco tomorrow, so fingers crossed, else I wil have to get some veggies round the Spar shop for the guinea pigs.

Oh I can't let this post go without mentioned British Gas. They were due to come yesterday to change my electric pre-payment meter for a normal one. For the third time. Once again, it wasn't done. A guy came to say he couldn't do the job because they hadn't got any meters. A feeling of deja vue. So to cut a long story short, I have emailed British Gas with my opinion of them, their lousy company, and their lousy customer services, and told them to stick their electric where the sun don't shine! (Very painful I should imagine with all those volts..) I signed up with Powergen, who reckon it will save me about £100 a year on current prices, plus I got to speak to a human being instantly on a free phone number! And, you get Tesco Clubcard points with every pound you spend on the electric. Can't be bad (can it? ) I surely hope this time it will be third time lucky.

Trees before


















Trees now

The Bed!

Anyone remember this from last year -

"Next exciting news - I just bought a new bed, well the bottom frame - from eBay. I've been looking through the lists of them on there for days until I am boggle eyed, and I've also been and pestered every bed shop in town. Nobody could give me exactly what I wanted, so I've had to compromise. I needed something low (cos poor old Emma is struggling sometimes to get up on mine, even though I chopped the divan base in half, hence my now being pissed off with it, I want to move the damn thing, and I can't because it's bodged up on blocks) I needed something with a sprung base, cos I can't sleep on a hard bed, I have a very good and expensive mattress though, and I needed something modern looking but without a high footboard, because I am tall, and my feet hang over the end of the bed, and a footboard would drive me mad, I tested some out in the shops, I would be waking up all the time cos I couldn't stretch out. So I bought this one -















It has sprung beech slats apparently. It still won't be as soft as my currently sprung divan base, but I ought to get used to a slightly harder one anyway because of my back. Hope it comes soon, can't wait to get all the crap out from under the other one, and have a good old clean under, and chuck the old base out!"

Well, that was August. Since that time, I've been kidding myself that this instrument of torture was better for me. Well, no more. I finally gave up after 6 months of agony, waking up aching all over. I bought a 2nd-hand mattress yesterday, just a thin, cheapy one to put under my decent one to make it softer. Last night it was sheer bliss. This morning I woke up for the first time without walking like Frankenstein's monster, not all stiff and achy. The trouble is that the bed was now 6 inches higher, and poor Emma couldn't get up on it last night. I thought I'd see how she got on, and she made about 5 attempts to jump up, and one time fell back and landed on her side. This morning, she was limping. :( I was worried sick in the night too, and woke several times incase she had got off and would hurt herself trying to get back up, so although it was a comfortable night, it wasn't a restful one. So when I got back from Cilgerran, I had to take all the stuff off, and I hack-sawed another 4 inches off the legs! I can just about get all my stuff under it again, and at least it's now only two inches higher than it was for her, so am hoping that will solve the problem. The frame is now only 3 inches off the floor. But here comes the funny bit. Well I thought so anyway. Ever since I've had that bed, it felt like it was going up in the middle, I thought it was cos the mattress had sunk a bit my side. Then I thought the pine slats had gone down, and I recently swopped them all from the other side. Then I turned my mattress over, Still felt like I was leaning uphill. So when I measured for sawing, I discovered that the 3 metal support feet that are down the middle of the bed were over an inch higher than the four legs! So it wasn't my imagination, I had obviously not measured them properly when I sawed the legs down in the first place, and all this time, I had been fighting my way up the slope and trying not to fall out of the side! Hahaha, silly cow. (I got it right this time.) :o)

Teifi Marshes

Such a wonderful day (after the ice had melted) so I decided to go out for a few hours to Cilgerran and Teifi Marshes Nature reserve. Can you believe this weather? February, and I had a picnic, sitting at a table with just a thin sweatshirt on? Crazy. And I was buzzed by a blow-fly thing. I saw honey bees collecting pollen from the flowers on the gorse too. It's gonna be a cold one again tonight by the looks of things, it dropped to minus 4c last night, still haven't had temperatures as low as it got last winter though, and hope we don't either! Saw the normal amount of birds that you would see in any woodland place really, I only went to one of the hides (The Kingfisher one) but there was a couple of ardent birdwatchers in there, nothing to be seen on the lake either, so didn't stop long incase Emma started to whinge! Lots of blue tits feeding on the seed feeders by the Visitor Centre, (which is closed until Easter) They've been doing a lot of work by the looks of things, will be nice to see it all finished. I bought 100 fatballs in Cilgerran so I put three of them on the feeders, as they were nearly empty, they have one of the ones that is about 5 feet long, and it was down to the last foot! I guess the people that live in the cottage on site see to it, not sure. Nice day anyway. I shall tell you what else I did in my next post!

Fantastic weather

Turned colder of course, but the skies cleared today, and we had some blue and sun. I popped over to Irene's for lunch and a chat, haven't seen her for a couple of weeks, then on the way home, took Emma for a walk along the Teifi at Llandysul where the Paddlers canoe club go. I've not been down that way for ages either, it's been too muddy, and when the river is up, you can't get far anyway, it floods over the concrete path and you can't get into the fields. Also I think I have become very lazy, and although I know Emma enjoys it as much as anywhere we go, I have just been taking her round the park, instead of all the nice scenic places we used to go.

Anyway, took a few nice pictures, and wished I'd had my proper camera with me really, although the Nokia does quite good ones, they aren't so good as my Praktica obviously. Still never mind. Lots of birds around, Jackdaws are busy building their nests up in the trees.

Jackdaw nests


Gorse in bloom


River showing some of the old mill houses



Emma in her second favourite place (first being bed)

Meet Barney (and Squirt)

I had a lovely surprise arrive in the post yesterday, thanks you two, cheered me right up. :o)

Brief catch up

I've decided to do shorter posts (well that's the theory, but I know I waffle on) Even if it means doing two or three at a time, else it just gets so long, and I can't be bothered to do it at all, and it's just too long and a complete yawn fest anyway.

So really, all I have to say now is that I took Emma to see Damien (sigh) on Tuesday. Still think he's fab, went to a lot of trouble to make myself glamorous, all being completely irrational and stupid I know, the guy is married with two kids, and if he made a move toward me I would run a mile! The thrill is in the chase though. *smirk* Anyway, I decided I liked the new me (or the old me really) with a bit of make up on, it makes me feel more confident, and a bit younger, so I put some on again today to go shopping, lol. Not because I am out to catch a bloke, but just so that I don't shudder so much if I see my reflection in a shop window or mirror! My big problem though, and one of the main reasons I stopped wearing make-up before is that my eyes hurt like hell, they get really sore, even though I've got all the sensitive eyes Max Factor stuff, but doesn't seem quite so bad this time, I've not worn any make up for about 4 years, so it's all old stuff, maybe it gets better with age (unlike me)

Erm yes, oh still having an awful time with my broadband/BT. The speed now has gone really awful again, like it was when the original fault occurred, last night I had 92kpbs for some of the time, loading a web page, for example bird forum one was taking about 25 seconds! BT had an appointment to come once again to see if they could resolve this fault on Monday, 1pm to 6pm and hadn't the courtesy to turn up or telephone to say they weren't coming. I am so sick of them, I wish to christ we had an alternative to their shitty service here, but no such luck (I mean NTL cable or something) That's the second time they've not bothered to turn up. Its been going on since October now, and I'm not getting the service I am paying for. It's like being back on dial-up, as I have to disconnect my phone to stop the line disconnecting, and now the speed too, I really don't know what the answer is.

Finally a whinge (or another one) I'm not sure if I am still weak from the chicken pox, but my legs are terrible lately. I have no strength at all any more, I am really struggling to get out of the car, at Pat's yesterday, I had to go up the stairs on all fours! And took Emma round the reservoirs this afternoon, and there are steps up from one level to the next, and I could hardly get up them. Shit I feel like I am about 70! It's my knees really, the joints really hurt, if I squat down to pick something up, I am struggling to get up again. A bit worrying really, I always have been a pessimist but am thinking of what may happen in the future, wheelchairs spring to mind. :(

Meet Andy

I probably mentioned once before that I collect toy dogs? Well, if not, I will now. I have something like 80 I should imagine, all sizes from teeny weeny keyring ones to a huge one, bigger than Emma. Well when I saw that Andrex were doing a cute one for Comic Relief, I thought I would send off for it. It came yesterday, and is really sweet, and £1.65 of the money it cost (£5) is donated to Comic Relief, so it's gone to a good cause.


















Emma is suitably unimpressed.