Had a discussion with my mum on the phone last night, as I do every Sunday. I really did have to bite my tongue and keep quiet otherwise I would have ended up upsetting her. Instead, I am cross with her , but I can't say so, which consequently has made me upset and annoyed, and I didn't sleep much last night. She is adamant she doesn't want me to come up and visit her for her birthday, and in fact, although I hope she was joking, never. She doesn't want anything for her birthday, well hard luck mum, I've already got some stuff, unfortunately though I won't be able to post some of it, way too heavy. She doesn't want to go out for a meal with my uncle and aunt, she just wants to be left alone and forget about her birthday.
She got very upset, uptight, couldn't relax and felt ill the last time I was up apparently, all my fault. She just wants to carry on with her life doing the same stuff day in day out, and doesn't want any disruption to this cosy little lifestyle, which apparently includes me being there. So that has completely stuffed my plans. Okay so it was going to be difficult as I couldn't get a pet carer, but I had it all planned and would have been able to manage 4 or 5 days up without having to worry too much about the pets, now thats all gone down the pan. I was quite looking forward to it too as the forecast was good for this weekend so the journey would have been okay. Am very pissed off now to put it mildly, but I daren't just do it as she is going to be upset, and I can't tell her I think she's being selfish, after all, it's her birthday, she can do what she wants, and I don't want to make her cry about it, so had better just forget it. So she won't get her shed fixed like I planned, so she'd better not keep on moaning about it every bloody time I speak to her. :(