Saturday

I'm just about back to normal I think now after my chickenpox. I still don't feel very energetic mind you, but then did I ever, not for the past few years anyway. I haven't done very much this week, apart from normal stuff, shopping, walking Emma, and watching Celebrity Big Brother. On which subject I am embarrassed to say that I am seriously addicted this time, maybe because of being ill, and having the excuse to just sit and watch it, plus viewing it on my new telly, but I'm also thrilled that my favourite is still in after last night's double eviction (Dirk) It's the first time I've voted on a Big Brother, and probably will the the last, but it was apparently very touch and go between him and the bunny-boiling Cleo, so I spent a few quid on voting her out, and thankfully, other people felt the same and she went!

I went over to Pat's yesterday to set up her new broadband with BT Yahoo. It turned out to be yet another nightmare, the wiring for their phone line and extensions in their place is like spaghetti junction, with leads running up through the walls, across from one side of the house to the other between floorboards and ceiling, and her computer is in the study area with a run of about 30 metres of extension cable running up the wall from the main socket, across the house, into the bedroom, then back across the ceiling and finally back down! I didn't think we had a hope in hell of it working, but after about 3 hours we finally got her online. She needs another DSL filter though, we had to unplug the bedroom phone to get it to go, and I finally left there at nearly 6pm in the pitch black. So my poor birdies didn't get their afternoon feed yesterday. Still, at least it was mild and there were plenty of peanuts and the sunflower hearts feeder and fat balls, just the seeds and the suet pellets they had to miss out on. Talking of birds, I am saddened to see that the dreaded trichomonias has reared its ugly head again here after an absence of several months. I've seen three chaffinches and a greenfinch this week, and found a dead chaff yesterday. It's awful watching them trying to feed, and sicking back their food and spluttering and spraying mucous around. I rushed out and disinfected my bird table the other day having witnessed this, but of course it's impossible to see it all, especially on the ground. This afternoon, I took Emma for a walk over the river at Henllan. This is a lovely scenic area of the Teifi near Newcastle Emlyn, with lots of huge trees alongside, and I was upset to see a Chaffinch there too, also puffed up and spluttering. So it's pretty widespread (it's around 12 miles from me) Poor bloody things.

It was otherwise lovely to get out, I haven't been over there for months, there's lots of trees come down since the last time I was there, and the river was very high. Hard to believe that in the summer I was paddling in here and could have walked right across, it was only a few inches deep, now it's about 5 feet I reckon.

We got our village news mag today. Normally, this thing winds me up, as I have mentioned before, full of things that don't interest me, but this time I cheered, I feel really, really happy at something I read in there. Namely that the Council have again opposed the 10 wind turbines that they are trying to build within a mile or so of here. They have refused to grant permission! Yay. Oh what joy. Now perhaps that company who is trying to wreck our countryside and way of life here will just piss off and build them at sea, where they aren't going to disrupt anything (except perhaps a few fish) I really thought it would go ahead this time, being as the reports of how many people were keen for it because of the work it would bring to the area.



Don't make me go in mum!

Time wasters

Why do they do it? I bet we've nearly all had one or two of them. You advertise something for sale, in this case, my old tv (well not so old, it's only 2 years old) I put precise details on the cards (both in Spar shops around the area) Make, age, screen size, condition, price, open to offers. So I get a phone call at 12 oclock today, asking all the questions which are already answered on the card, then it's can I come round and look at it in about an hour, so I say of course, give the address, and wait.... and wait...... and wait........ and after two hours I phone his mobile and get voice mail, leave a message. I did so, and said, please I'm not bothered but please just let me know if you aren't interested because I have another potential buyer (a fib, I wanted to take Emma out and didn't intend staying in all afternoon, besides, he now has my address, and don't want him knowing I'm going out) And the cretin hasn't even had the decency to phone back or even text. They make my blood boil. It's happened to me so many times before too. I've never done that to anyone, it's just bloody ignorance. I had gone to all the trouble too of moving the bloody thing back in here and connecting it up to the scart and aerial so he could see it working. Now it's just stuck on the living room floor because I'm damned if I am going to move it again. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

The good news is my Toshiba 37" came at 10 am by Amtrak, and I am thrilled to bits with it. Absolutely fantastic picture, easy as pie to set up to, its amazing watching Celeb Big Brother and the people are now life-sized! And I don't have to put my glasses on to read the screen banners and writing, lol.

It's been bitter today, although sunny, only about 3c all day and with a wind chill, I reckon felt more like minus 3c. I finally decided I'd best take Emma for a short walk, so we just went over the back fields here. Other than that, cleaned out the budgie, and that is another exciting day over with.

Sunday

I never know what to call my blog each day, I sit here thinking of all sorts of titles, how stupid, and end up getting cross. Unless I go somewhere specific to do something specific, it's just gonna be called Sunday, Monday, whatever!

Having said that I'll now mention that yesterday was Saturday (funnily enough) and I went to Newcastle Emlyn to get out for an hour or so, as it was a bright sunny day, but it was very windy still and a lot colder than of late. On the other bank of the Teifi and in the fields there, was the biggest flock of Canada Geese I've ever seen there, numbering around 200 at least. I took a few pics but only with my Nokia, but all the blobs on the grass are geese!
















Today, I managed to motivate myself at last to clean out my aviary, clean my living room and kitchen windows, which were filthy and mud-splattered, pick up Emma's poos from the front lawn and take her for a walk to my favourite place at Maesycrugiau. I am now completely knackered, and my back is breaking, but at least I achieved something. The river Teifi down there was raging, at one point where there is normally a small waterfall, it was roaring, deafening white-water. Had to stick Emma's feet in a bowl of soapy water when we got back, she was not impressed, but she was plastered in mud, and no way was she going in the water today to wash herself off! It was moving at about 70mph, anything falling in there wouldn't have stood a chance. I saw the person who has the three springer spaniels, they normally go in, but not today thank goodness.

This weather is so crazy though, it's turned very cold, probably going to have a frost tonight by all accounts, and the chance of snow showers tomorrow. Down the road, daffodils are in full bloom already, at least 6 weeks early.

Here we are again...

My week has been much of a muchness, mainly sitting on my bum watching the goings on in Celebrity Big Brother. I am only too glad that I've had something to entertain me though as I haven't felt like doing a lot, just the odd small task each day, and I have been wiped out physically. Yesterday, I had it on from 6am till 11pm! How sad am I. Main reason for the early start though was the horrendous gales we had going on outside. I woke at 1am, 3am and 5.35am. That time the noise was so bad, one of the gusts I thought was sure to have taken my aviary, so I got dressed and went out, but no, it was still there. Thank god. A small outer protection panel had been wrenched off from the safety porch, but all else was there. Slight damage to to fence panels that are rotting away anyway, and some bits of tree on the front grass, my big plant pots blown over, but otherwise thankfully intact. The wind eased off mid-morning and we had quite a pleasant afternoon. I managed to get Emma a walk round the park anyway, so we both got a bit of air and exercise.

What else can I report in my exciting life? Oh yes, I got the result of my mamogram back at long last, and thankfully all okay, so I'm back on the HRT. I can't put up with the hot flushes and night sweats any longer, it's so unpleasant. This morning I had my doctor's checkup to get the results of the blood tests I had done two weeks ago. My thyroid has gone slower, and apparently the test is done in two parts, one part shows that it's within the normal range, but the other part shows that it is struggling to cope to keep this functioning normally, so I am on double dose of thyroxine from now on. I only hope when the HRT kicks in too, I will start to feel my age instead of about 70. My doctor said no wonder I was feeling so ill when she saw me, with the chicken pox on the way, and not surprised that I still don't feel that good, she says it's very bad when you get it for the first time at my age, and with my other health problems. Aren't I just the lucky one.

Talking of which, I still have my ongoing broadband disconnect problem too. Trust me to have a unique, and unheard of problem with this too. I had an expert BT engineer here yesterday (lucky me, yet another man in my bedroom for over an hour....) Actually, he was a Michael Stipe lookalikey, (Singer from REM for those who don't know) Anyway, I digress. He checked everything, most thorough of all the three lots of people I've had here, and used his own laptop and modem, and could see the problem straight away, said it was in the exchange. Went away, came back, and still no good. Back and forth, in the loft, put me a new broadband something or other, and it's still no good. He was going to put in a request for some other team to sort it out now, it may mean a whole new line coming across to me from the exchange, he says I'll have to bear with it a bit longer, but they will sort it, so I am full of hope! Meantime, I can cure the problem by unplugging my phone line from the socket and just having the broadband plugged in, so anyone who wants me can contact me if desperate by ringing my mobile. It will still then disconnect, because any activity on my line is enough, but at least it will stop the every 20 minutes thing. This guy really knew his stuff too, and he'd never come across or heard of the problem before. Typical of my luck again.

Been out and bodged up the two fence panels, and did a repair on a third one, which I didn't know was on it's way too. Had to go round and knock at the neighbour who lives behind me to get to them from her back garden, so that made a better job of it.Looking like I shall have to replace all four along the back this year though, they are almost completely rotten, so much for the 10-year life they are supposed to have, I've given them coats of cuprinol too, and after 5 years they are buggered.

I'm excited, I took the plunge and ordered my new tv. 37" Toshiba LCD. Being delivered on Monday. Left myself skint but sod it, I like my telly, and I don't spend my money on anything else apart from the birds and pets. I desperately need to get my old one sold though, it's so big, I just haven't the space to have it laying around for long, it's also bloody heavy. Nearly killed myself moving it into the bedroom, so I'm all ready for the new one. I got my 17" LCD in here temporarily to get used to the fantastic clear pic. There's really no comparison. Although my old one has a great picture, it's only just over 2 years old, and widescreen, but the LCD have such depth, it's like watching in 3-d as if you are actually there, so I can't wait to see it in the H U G E screen! :)

Insomnia

Haven't written for a couple of days again because I've done nothing, been nowhere. Spots are receding, still itchy, still feel a bit groggy, so haven't really wanted to go anywhere either, Sunday was okay because it was a nice day, but its been dreary and miserable here ever since.

I am getting so fed up with being unable to sleep for more than four or five hours and then not being able to get off again. Every night for weeks now, I can go off to sleep within a few minutes of turning out the light, then I wake up, and have to go to the loo, and then even though I've not turned the light on or woken up properly, that's my lot. Get back in bed and just lay there, toss and turn, too hot, too cold, too achy, brain in overdrive, composing letters, conversations, phone calls, things that need to be done, what I'm going to do today, and so it goes on. Is my body (or brain) seriously saying that I only need 4 or 5 hours sleep now? I don't think so, because come this evening, I will be shattered, and need to go to bed again about 10 oclock. I'm not going then, I'm deliberately making myself stay up till at least 11 oclock, but it's just not working.

So here I am again, I went to bed at 11.15, fell asleep instantly, woke up at 4.05, and gave up at 5.05, now been on the pc for one and a half hours, done all my online quizzes, looked at the Big Brother forums on digitalspy, read all the latest goings on, read other peoples blogs. Now what? Try and get back to sleep again I suppose. Eyeballs are hurting, so I guess it's not a bad idea.

One thing on my mind, maybe if I write it down will help. My friend Irene came round to see me yesterday. She confirmed what she had discussed with me last year - she is definitely putting her smallholding on the market in February, had the estate agent round on Monday to value. She is moving back to Southend, I suppose by the time it sells, I have about another 5 months of her as a friend if I'm lucky. She says I can go visit anytime, but of course I doubt I ever will, if I can ever get away from here it has to be to see mum and my friends in Hertfordshire, unlikely to get to Southend. Hell, I've never even been able to get back to Cornwall to see the friends I had there, so it's unlikely. Feeling very pissed off about it. End of yet another era, someone I have a lot in common with, who Emma thinks the world of and vice versa, someone to talk about computing stuff with, to go places with. Ah well, no good going on about it, she ain't gonna change her mind because of me, that's for sure. Wish her all the best anyway, she only has me here as a friend, all her family and friends are back there, she's lived here about 20 years I think. Bet she is feeling pissed off too, because her "partner" isn't going with her. All his friends are here, and he doesn't want to move, so he's looking for somewhere else to live, charming eh? If he finds somewhere quickly, will leave her in the shit financially, in which case, she will move back instantly to live with her sister, and leave the farm empty to sell via the agent, so she could be gone even sooner than that. Bugger. Why can't life stay the same?

Things looking up

Well, I could still enter and win a competition for the nearest thing to a human dalmation, but at least I am feeling about 50% back to normal. I made up my mind last night that unless the weather was horrendous today, I was going out and that was it. I was on the last day's supply of sunflower hearts, wild bird seed, and had run out of suet pellets days ago, so a trip to Pets at Home was urgently needed. It was a gorgeous day, could easily be mistaken for early April, warm, dry, sunny, blue skies, no wind.

I had to clear the car windscreen, the condensation was awful, and I was worried it wasn't going to start but it fired first go. Touch wood, that car is a gem. Got my trolley load - another £40 bites the dust, and I still need peanuts, and millet and budgie and cockatiel seeds for my own birds, but I buy that elsewhere, and haven't completely run out of that yet. I also popped in Tesco and got a few things I forgot to order from the home delivery, and looked at the tellies. I am thinking of buying a 37" LCD or Plasma, taking my time to make up my mind though, now I've seen them and taken some measurements, I know what I do and don't want. Everyone is out of stock at the moment though, so will have to wait anyway.

Went round to McDonalds drive thru, ordered my usual roast veggie melt meal with coffee, drove down to the overflow car park, opened up the bag, and found they'd given me a bloody BLT one, so had to drive all the way back up, stomp in the shop, but they changed it no problem, full of apologies, they just bunged the whole lot I took back in the bin! What a waste, there was nothing wrong with it. I wish I'd thrown it to the birds actually, because I couldn't eat half of the proper thing anyway, and brought some home and chucked it and some chips out for the birds here (sorry Emma! )

Then took Emma round the reservoirs, I struggled though, I really did, felt like I was about 80 years old going round there, but I did it eventually, and I think she was grateful!

Came home and took Diddy boy out in the back with me whilst I did my feeders, picked up 8 days worth of Emma's poo off the front lawn, and then before I finally collapsed, managed to shovel up 5 weeks crap from the aviary flight and inside the shed, not a proper clean but a vast improvement, I will see if I can do it properly another day this week.

So all in all, a result, still feel weak and a bit achy but at least I managed to get something done today. Things can only get better.

Friday

Spots are fading a bit thank god. Still feel crap though. Woke up with a terrible headache, taken pills but it's still there faintly. Trouble with me too is that my old achy joints need a bit of exercise else I stiffen up and hurt like hell, but haven't felt like moving around either, so it's a vicious circle there. I'm fed up with the weather too, I would have probably tried a little 10 minute walk with Emma today just to get her and me out, as the spots on my face aren't too bad at all, I almost look human even if I don't feel it, but it's been bloody blowing a gale and peeing down most of today again.

My Tesco home delivery arrived within ten minutes of the start of my time slot, and I'm thrilled to bits with the service. Everything I asked for, delivered by a lovely polite young man, who brought it all into the kitchen for me, only two items I ordered weren't available, and they send substitutes which you don't have to accept. The bad news was I intended treating myself to two iced buns, and they didn't have them, only a pack of 6! So I've eaten four already. I can't speak highly enough of the service. For £5.99 they have to supply van, driver, someone to shop and pack all the stuff for you, all the overheads, wages. I mean living here, it could be on the cards that I would be the only one that day who wanted stuff, and they would still have to do it wouldn't they? It's made me feel a sense of relief in a way that if ever I can't drive, or can't afford to run a car, I would still be able to get some decent shopping without having to worry about lugging loads back on the bus, well as long as I still have my faculties anyway.

Oh well, I'm hoping that tomorrow I may feel physically a bit better and I can get out somewhere, I don't think I will be contagious anymore. My poor birds aviary needs cleaning out so badly too, I keep looking at it, but just can't face it, and then there's the busted fence panel....

Another boring day

Not much to say really, the spots appear to be retreating a bit, some are scabby, not so itchy, but I still feel achy, especially my head, haven't felt like doing anything today again, done even less than yesterday. Maybe because I had a bad night, should have gone to bed earlier, I have been getting into a pattern whereby going about 10pm means I was getting 6 hours and waking about 4am. Last night it was nearly midnight, and I still woke at 4am. Also think I woke momentarily a few times inbetween too, because of the noise of the wind, absolutely horrendous. Gritted my teeth and hoped for the best with the aviary. Thankfully all still standing this morning. Only a few casualties, my squirrel feeder was smashed to bits on the floor, where it had got blown out of the tree, one of my back fence panels is swinging, not sure if I can repair this one like I did the last one, but certainly don't feel like doing it at the moment, and two of my tubs with the shrubs in blown over, but not broken. Just sat again since I've been up really, apart from doing the bird feeders of course. Poor robins and tits are going to be unlucky for a few days as I've now run out of the suet pellets. They love them so much. They will have to make do with sunflower hearts and the fruit now instead, they won't starve. My sunflower hearts will only last until about Sunday if I'm lucky, but maybe I will be able to pop out then if the spots fade a bit on my face, have to see how I feel, surely this can't go on much longer, it's 7 days now of feeling crap, apart from the not feeling quite right thing for about 10 days before that, it's just dragging on and on.

Bored bored bored

Another days dawns, and another thousand spots have appeared. I now have hardly a square inch of flesh anywhere on my body that doesn't have a spot on it. I sure have to do things wholeheartedly don't I?

Anyway, not going to talk about that again, I expect everyone is as sick of it as I am. Today has been a lovely day here, and I thought maybe I would take Emma out to my favourite place down by the river where I would be unlikely to meet anyone else, but in the end, sadly I just don't feel up to it. I have managed to do my birds and clean a couple of feeders out - the RSPB 4-port one that I've been using for the sunflower hearts was in a hell of a state, I've ended up having to bin about half a jug of hearts too because they were waterlogged and stinking. They still cannot come up with a watertight feeder can they? I've tried about 6 different types now and they are all the same, and you end up wasting loads. It's turned a lot colder of course as soon as the sky clears inevitable at this time of year, but still, has been nice that I could let Emma out for a wee and not have to dry her everytime she comes back in. Other than that, I've just sat and watched the E4 live feed of Celebrity Big Brother, which isn't particularly exciting, but okay I suppose. Feel very bored though, there's stuff that needs doing but I don't feel like it, too hot and sweaty and headachy as soon as I move, so have given up. I'm definitely going to run out of some foodstuff before I can be seen out in public unless I wear one of those full-face woolly hat things with just eyeholes.

Diddy Boy has been playing up a bit today, I think he's feeling frisky, spring in the air and all that, and he lunged at Emma this morning and scared the shit out of her, so she is giving him a wide berth at the moment. He's been bloody crowing in here non-stop too and doing my head in, but the funniest thing is he thinks that my dog slippers are real, and follows my feet around, and earlier he put his head down to my right foot, and was waiting for the toy dog to groom him. Nearly laughed I did, so it must be have funny.

Oh well, see what tomorrow brings I suppose.

The Pox, day three (or something)

Woke up twice in the night, dripping, literally. My t-shirt was like I'd jumped in a bath with it on. Had to change, turn the duvet over so I had a dry-ish side. Felt awful again this morning, stiff, sick, achy, and had erupted in a million more spots. I couldn't hazzard a guess how many now, hundreds and hundreds. I've taken a couple of photos, so if you don't want to see, don't scroll down! Only my torso bit, there are probably at least a hundred on each leg, each arm, in my head and neck, so you can play counting on the bits you can see and work it out. I can't even bear to brush my hair because my head is so sore.

Sat on the sofa feeling very sorry for myself, didn't want to watch telly, didn't want to be on my laptop, thought about going back to bed. Thought I'd try and eat something, so did a bit of cheese on toast, and then started to feel a bit better. I ended up cleaning out Chippy and the guinea pigs, and taking the bin bags out for the men tomorrow, so quite pleased really - I thought all those things were a no-no this morning.

The only thing is I don't feel I'm missing out on anything, because the weather is so attrocious that I doubt I'd have gone anywhere even if I'd been okay, the rain hasn't stopped here in about three days I don't think, may even be longer, and the wind howling, although that dropped this afternoon. Poor Emma is fed up though, she doesn't know what's up, and I have to keep pushing her away, she wants to sit on my lap and I can't bear it, too hot and too sore to have her crammed up against me.

Don't scroll if you don't want to see

Spots before my eyes ...

Okay, that will be the last spot joke I promise. Updated, the situation is that I phoned the doctors first thing, explained and they said are you able to come in (after hanging on for a while when she went to ask I guess, and what cheery music too - In the Bleak Mid Winter !) I said I wasn't dressed but thought I'd be up to it, as I had nobody to bring me. She said to come to reception and they would take me straight through the treatment room and a doctor would see me at 10.10. Why is it that when I am late for an appointment, it takes me 20 minutes to get to the doctors, but when I have plenty of time, it takes about 12? Anyhow got there just after 10, taken to a empty room and told I would be sent for. I sat there listening to the hum of the fluorescent lights, which were also so bright they hurt my eyes. I felt sick. I sat there for half an hour and was on the verge of getting up and going thinking I'd made a big mistake, but finally the doctor came in, and listened to the story, asked where the spots were (I mean I have about 30 visible on my face and neck, doh!) but the worst of them is on my back, boobs, under my arms. I haven't bothered trying to count now, but I reckon with the ones in my hair it must be close on 250. These aren't itching that much to be honest, but they are very sore. Anyway, he confirmed that it was chickenpox, that I would have been likely to have caught it 2 weeks ago, so that makes Christmas Eve, Day (which is out, cos I didn't go anywhere) Boxing Day (Pats? doubtful as they would have shown the symptoms before me) Oh well. He said I will probably feel crap for the rest of this week, and that I should avoid going near children for at least a week (well that's no problem, I avoid going near them at the best of times...) I will be contagious until the spots dry up, which should be about 4 days. That I won't be back to feeling anything like normal for about 2 weeks. I was given permission to nip in the chemist and get some piriton, paracetemol, calamine and I also bought some Lemsips this time. Nothing else to do but sit it out. Today I feel really terrible again, really full of flu, shivering and sweating, weak. I've just sat on the sofa all day, and dragged myself up just for food, (haven't lost my appetite now sadly) wees, seeing to the pets. Don't know how long I shall last tonight am feeling very tired already, so if I'm not on chat, I am still alive (just) :(

Doing a spot check.....

One hundred and five visible, possibly around another 15 or so on my head under the hair. Feeling a bit better though, actually managed to do 3 days washing up, not that there was lots, only mugs and one plate cos I've not eaten of course. And I changed the bed, it was so smelly and yucky with the amount of sweating I've done. And, last but not least, had a warm shower, (that's how come I counted all the spots.) I managed to eat some cup-a-soup and a couple of rusks and a bit of ice cream too, so at least I've had something. Feeling weak now though, but still, thank god not like yesterday. Thanks for all the well wishing and sympathy folks, much appreciated.

OMG I've erupted!

Just like Mount St Helens. After my visit to the doctors on Friday, started to feel progressively worse and went to bed early. That was a waste of time. I don't think I slept a wink all night. I just laid there in so much pain, and I know for sure that I got up every two hours to go for a wee, because I checked the clock each time. Pretty sure I never slept at all. Consequently, yesterday morning I couldn't even stand up without wanting to spew or pass out. Managed to uncover the budgie, let Diddy out of his cupboard, let Emma out for a wee and crawl back into bed. Finally managed to stagger up to do my aviary birds at 1 oclock and then again fall back into bed. Felt absolutely terrible. I was convinced by this time that I have the flu however, nothing to do with the thyroid/b12/diabetes crap that I was tested for. I spent most of yesterday in bed, managed to get up for a couple of hours at teatime and watched tv for a while, did the pets teas, and then back to bed, dosed up with some paracetemol. Thank christ I actually slept from 10pm till 5 am. First thing I noticed was I was itchy. I mean, very itchy. All over. I actually was a bit itchy last night, but put it down to being really hot with the flu virus. Or so I thought. When I looked, I have red blotchy spots all over my torso, legs, neck, face, head (in the hair) and some on my back, (51 so far and counting) I've obviously scratched in the night, so had blood all down my back (yuck) These spots are full of yucky clear liquid, like blisters. So after a google, it would appear folks, that at the ripe old age of 52 I now have bloody chickenpox! Very rare in adults (but of course, I always have to be different) contagious for two to three days before the spots appear, and for 4 to 5 days after until the spots dry up (great, so that means I probably infected people at the doctors and the vets on Friday) caught anything from 10 to 20 days before the spots appear (so would account for why I've felt so crap for so long) It's airborne, so some bastard coughed on me! Or you can catch it from touching the germs on someone's hands. Just great innit? I now have to consult the doctor, as adults must do this, not sure if I will have to go up there again though, doubt it, don't think there's much they can do, only confirm my diagnosis! So now I am in solitary for a few days. Good job I keep the place stocked up with food, not that I want any, but for the pets. May run out of wild bird seed though. Oh and of course, going to see Damien will be out on Tuesday too, but not letting him see my spotty face even if it wasn't contagious.

The only good news is I've lost 4lbs because all I've eaten since Friday morning is a bowl of low fat rice pudding. I so wanted some lemsips or something yesterday, but there was no way I could walk round to the Spar shop and get some, and I could hardly phone a friend to get me some when they both live half an hour away. I found some lemsip flu capsules and thought yay, that will be better than nothing, then looked, best before April 2004. I'd never even opened them. So I still haven't. Bloody hopeless aren't I?

The first post

Well, I'm a glutton for punishment, but this time maybe, I shall be a bit more careful about what I say about my private life. There again I doubt it, I never could keep my big trap shut.
So today, being the first one, I shall start as I mean to go on, and have a good old whinge about my state of health. Been feeling bloody terrible for ages now, finally went to see the docs this morning. Turned into a nightmare. One thing I can't take, makes me very edgy, is having to sit and wait for very long. I had an appointment with the doctor, no problem, got in to see her within five minutes or so, but she then wanted me to see the nurse for blood tests and my B12 injection. I had to wait almost an hour. I got very agitated, and almost left to be honest. I get kind of claustrophobic and start to panic. Anyway, all done, got given some pain killers to try (well prescription for) and as soon as the result of my mamogram is back, I can go back on the HRT if I'm given the all clear. I am so sick of the hot flushes, getting no rest at night, keep waking up soaking wet, and boiling, prickly heat, then next time I wake, all shivery and freezing where all the bed clothes are sopping wet. It's awful. She thinks the pain down my left side is muscular. Heart and lungs sound fine, so no need to panic about angina or anything at present. Just hope I can take the pain killers without my usual problem of wanting to be sick, we shall see, cos I had hardly any sleep last night, my arm and shoulder were hurting really bad.

I was hoping to take the pooch to the vets before 10 oclock, as she is due her check up on the eye ulcer, but no chance of that so have to go back out now in the rain to take her between 2 and 3 pm. I am tempted to leave it actually, as she is due her yearly booster injection, and I may just be able to wangle it for next Tuesday - Damien day. Smirk. Just the thought of him makes me feel better already. I think I will definitely do that anyway, need to check though to make sure he will be taking surgery still on Tuesdays, couldn't face the disappointment....

Well that will do for this time, anyone who wants to put the links again on their blogs, feel free, and hopefully, I will reciprocate if I may, as long as it's not too complicated now that I am running the two blogs. I definitely shan't be doing the Travels one again, maybe I can shake off the stalker..., but if not, so what, I shall mod all comments from now on, so they won't ever be published, so the emails from most anonymous sources will get deleted anyway, so don't waste your breaths, creeps!